We've all followed the Ranger Up and American Sin Bin crews as they travel the country bringing shenanigans, awesomeness, and Ranger panties to the good people of The Land of the Big Mac. But at the end of the day who's responsible for keeping up with dry cleaning bills, bail bondsmen, and their penile implant surgeons?
Continuing our Meet the Staff series, meet Alexis Bucholtz also known as Lex, Accounting Analyst for Ranger Up, American Sin Bin, and Unapologetically American. Originally from New Jersey, Lex had to accept the job at Ranger Up two years ago because her audition for the Jersey Shore didn’t go so well because:
1. She is German and not Italian
2. She refused the spray-on tan and
3. She actually kicked some major ass as a Marine and can handle her alcohol.
Yes, I know it is hard to believe that this little cutie was a Marine, but that's just the beginning. She's also a rugger, playing flanker for the Raleigh Venom and will zero in on your ass from 300 yards and blind side you with a fury of Bryan Urlacher proportion.
Everyone at the ASB / Ranger Up Headquarters still can’t figure out how Lex was placed in the accounting position in the first place as it was either the fact that she was a Marine and can do anything or that she was a Marine and too stupid to realize that she can’t do everything and had no idea what she was getting into. Either way, Lex is kept busy by Nick and Tommy who, according to her, are spending way too much money on bourbon and Swedish Fish. Most days you can find Alexis in front of her computer, trying to manipulate the numbers to make Tommy bigger than he actually is (she still hasn’t found the right formula and don’t think she will any time soon).
Since leaving her beloved Corps a few years ago and trying several other work environments, Lex has finally found a home in RU. There's nothing like being “balls deep” and having immediate understanding of what she is trying to convey as opposed to blank stares of disgust. Lex is known around the shop as the Mother Hen, making sure that everyone is sane and policing up those who fall behind during Whiskey Thursdays.
Lex is uber-excited about the new American Sin Bin brand and can’t wait to get from behind the computer to start planning its evil take over of the world…mu hahaha! She is particularly looking forward to the future design and release of rugby jerseys and shorts as ASB expands the products from just t-shirts to an all-encompassing rugby line. She is really looking forward to taking ASB to the 7’s tournament in Las Vegas early next year, getting the word out that there is a new kid in town and they are looking to kick some ass.
Expect to see more of Lex in the future, about the only thing that could stop her from her success are cliffs, dehydration, and hemmorhoids.